Molina Davis Counseling

A Poem For Habit Change

Molina Davis — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 20:37:36 +0000

The following poem, as simple as it reads, says a lot about how depression, addictions, and poor habits can be perpetuated. Recognizing a behavior pattern that no longer works for you may be easy, but making the change could benefit from the help of others.
I.
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
II.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place. But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit…but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V.
I walk down a different street.

by Portia Nelson

Play For Stress Relief

Molina Davis — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 05:45:55 +0000

When did you stop playing? Did you stop? If you play now, how has it changed since childhood? If you play, how do you keep it balanced with work? Or are they synonymous for you? There are so many types of play to consider: playing with fire, playing with someone’s mind, playing with yourself, just playing around, etc. What affect does your play have on others? I’m going to assume here that play has a positive intention (omitting what deviants would beg)…

I talk with a lot of people who say they have no time for play because they are so busy working. What that tells me is that they 1) may not like their jobs, 2) they aren’t allowed playtime at work, or 3) they won’t allow themselves time to play. Many people express feeling guilt about play… or taking any time for themselves for their own creative pursuit. If you feel guilty about playing, how has that feeling served you so far?

If you give, give, give in the form of work, and never stop to receive, at some point you will give all you can until your job is done, and then you will have no choice but to stop and smell the flowers, play online scrabble, or pick up the kids early for ice cream at the park. On the other hand, if you just horse around all the time and/or do only unto yourself…eventually you will saturate your hedonism and will feel like giving back…or working.

So, why the extremes? Why can’t we work and play in balance? What would that balance look like for you? If you could learn to play without pressure of being “grown up”, what would you do? Creativity is necessary for brain development…for sensory integration and the development of new problem solving skills. Play also allows you to de-stress so that you are healthy enough to work.

What if you tried one new creative or playful activity each day? I double-dare you

Depression FAQ’s

Molina Davis — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 21:16:39 +0000

The attached New York Times article provides a pretty good summary about depression, the symptoms, and self-help options. Please keep in mind that the symptoms described may be related to issues besides depression.

Click here for article.

Alliance Matters More Than Technique

Molina Davis — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 04:47:21 +0000

The alliance, or relationship, between a counselor and a client has been shown to be more important in the therapy outcome than the counseling technique or model used. Also, the client (including his/her life influences) is the most important factor in whether therapy works. Reviews of the research on therapy outcomes, by Hubble, Duncan and Miller, determined the amount of improvement in therapy was the result of 4 major factors: the techniques used (15%), client expectations and placebo (15%), the relationship with a therapist (30%), and the client (including resources such as social support, positive events, and strengths, (40%). Meta-analysis by Bruce Wampold in 2001 actually shows that the client accounts for 87% of the therapy outcome, with the alliance still having a greater impact than techniques used. If you are interested in reading the relevant books and research, please see the following:

The Great Psychotherapy Debate > by Bruce Wampold
The Heart & Soul of Change: What Works in Therapy > by Hubble, Duncan, & Miller

My focus in my counseling practice is on building an alliance with you, the client. Whether you seek services from me, or from someone else, it is important for you to feel the therapist genuinely hears you and seeks your feedback about how the counseling is working for you.